Sheep Tipping

I promised my friend Keith that I would discover the truth about cow tipping as I became a proper cowgirl. As an added bonus for all my urban readers, I'll throw in a bit about sheep tipping, too.



Cow tipping is one of those stories that someone made up who had never been very close to a cow. The idea is that clever folks sneak up on unsuspecting cattle and tip them over and have a great laugh about it. This is the kind of thing that works best if your entire knowledge of cattle is limited to those little plastic models that come with the Complete 500 Piece Farm Set with Barn and Tractor for only $9.99. I probably got mine in the mail from Battle Creek, Michigan with a whole bunch of cereal box tops.



By the time I stopped collecting box tops for surprises in the mail, I had figured out that cow tipping was just one of those jokes that lingers because it is so preposterous. City kids say to country folks, "so is it true on Saturday nights out in the country you go cow tipping for fun?" and the country kids invariably go along with it with something like, "You city kids don't know what you're missing." And then everyone laughs.



Keith loves a joke. Note, I did not say a good joke--Keith will wring humour from some of the silliest things, so naturally he asked me to check out cow tipping and I solemnly promised that I would. Imagine my surprise when I asked my husband about cow tipping and he said yes, he has tipped cows. But let me quickly clarify: cow tipping or, more likely bull tipping, is done so that the animal's feet can be seen by a vet. The only incidents I know of are a bull whose hooves needed trimming. Done carefully from a safety point of view for the vet and for the sake of the animal and of course to avoid the damage that a reluctant animal could inflict on the would-be tipper. A far cry from the stories of hapless cows and pranks, but there it is: the truth about cow tipping for Keith.



Now sheep are a different story. A sheep can roll onto its back and if it gets stuck there it can die. Because it cannot chew the cud in this position, the grass in its rumen gets gassy and the stomach swells up. Sheep tipping---actually, more like sheep rolling, is a rescue maneuver. It is not as easy as it sounds.



We were out for a drive and I noticed a sheep on its back. I mentioned this, still not sure whether the sheep tipping stories were true or brought out for my benefit. I am by nature very gullible, and, with my previous knowledge of animals limited to cats and plastic farm animals, I am a very easy mark. But sheep on their backs is a real farming problem.



We turned the car around and spotted the sheep, who seemed dangerously still. Morris honked the horn and her legs flailed and she rocked from side to side but made no progress toward getting upright. With more enthusiasm than sense, I was out of the car and climbing over a gate with my eye on the sheep and only a passing thought for my church dress and sensible pumps. My sympathies were very much with the sheep until I realized as I got nearer that the sheep was not aware of my intentions and not inclined to accept help being tipped back into an upright position. I also became aware of just how vigorously she was kicking.



"Don't be afraid of her," Morris coached from the other side of the gate, and then, "Make sure you hold her head because she can hurt you with her head." Although useful knowledge, it was not reassuring. I remembered the day my Wee Calfie nearly knocked me unconscious with a casual blow of her head. I managed to grasp the sheep's head in my hands as if I were about to perform a Vulcan mind link and turned her head toward the fence and where her legs seemed best able to go to get back under her and away from me. In an instant she was up and away.